a balance, weight,“ hold in or put on a balance, weigh, compare"; "to be in a balance", be equal with [instr.]; the balance as an ordeal.
Balance....do I really need to say any thing else!
I teach balance in every class, the postures require it, energy flows balanced by breath and focus. But what about our lives? How do we take that simple task from the mat to the world outside the studio?
I find myself weaving in and out of balance from working too much, to eating too much or even thinking too much! Once I get to the jumping off place, I look at what's the loudest noise maker in my life and start to make changes. It's like my shoes get too tight and it feels like my feet have grown. I need to shrink back into right size/balance.
Over this past weekend I had an opportunity to attend a women's retreat in Suncadia with several women who are on a spiritual journey. It was snowing the entire weekend and stillness filled the air outside. Inside was warmth and cozy accommodations, home cooked food and quality conversations. But I felt restless, a little irritable. and had my walls up. I feared the intimacy that others seemed to share so freely. I did not know how to let myself just be, relax and take a break from my working world, the yoga instructor. My conversations were around just that, diet, exercise, yoga.
I had to take a big step back and look at myself in the mirror. Who am I? Under my outside identity, there is a soft, loving women but why do I hold her back? I meditated on this and as I did, it came to me that I was so wrapped up in my work, I was losing sight of self. Being too busy to be vulnerable is just an old pattern of survival for me. One that served me well in my youth, but no longer fits, just like the feeling of the shoes squeezing my toes.
I came back home, went right to a Hatha class and after it was over I felt a surge of emotion, tears flowed and I suddenly realized what needed to be done. I needed to put some balance into my schedule and cut back on driving myself to exhaustion.
And here I am, sitting, writing, reflecting. Balance- it's all about Body-Mind-Spirit.